


Why Won't You Kiss Me?

by fictionista48



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-28
Updated: 2012-07-28
Packaged: 2017-11-10 22:30:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/471401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionista48/pseuds/fictionista48
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Callen and Sam doubt Deeks' ability to sell a romantic cover with Kensi, should the need arise. Will he prove them wrong? And, where might it lead if he does?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Still getting used to this site, so in case each chapter can't be rated, this one is teen. The second is mature, the third is explicit. Thanks for reading!

They don't have a case, and not much is going on. Everyone sits around the bullpen, waiting for something to do. Deeks has gone on a coffee run, and coming back in, he hears laughter.

"It's a miracle we made it out alive," Kensi says, and Callen laughs.

"You two sold your cover. That's the only reason you did," Sam says. "You better hope you never have to go undercover with Deeks like that. He'd never be able to pull it off."

"You don't think so?" she asks.

This is wrong. They're all talking about him behind his back. What the hell? He strides in, coffee in hand. He gives one to Kensi and glares at Sam. "What's the deal, guys? I leave for ten minutes and you start trashing me?"

"It was thirty. And no, we're not trashin' you. Settle something for us. If you and Kensi went undercover as a couple, would you be able to sell it?"

His pulse jumps. He suddenly wishes he'd stayed gone longer. "Uh…sell it?"

"Yeah, sell it. Make it believable so you don't both die."

"I know what sell it means. Of course I would. I'm a professional."

"'Cause you know at some point, it's gonna happen."

"Yeah, well, so be it, then. I've spent my life undercover. I'm good at it, remember?"

"Yeah, you're good at bein' a dirt bag or a homeless guy. We don't really go after the seedy street-types, remember? It's usually a pretty high-class cover."

He goes on the defensive. "Yeah, well, I can wear a suit just like anyone. The scruff does shave off, you know."

Callen laughs. "That's not exactly the kind of cover we're talking about here."

He's confused.

Kensi laughs nervously. "They don't think you could sell it if we had to pose as a romantic couple, Deeks."

Shit. This isn't the conversation he wants to have. "Sure I could, Fern. I could pretend to like you for a few days."

Sam glares over at him. "We're bein' serious. It's gonna happen. You two will, at some point, end up in that situation. It's part of why you're part of a male/female partnership."

"And at that point, I'll do what I have to do. No one needs to worry."

"You seem a little…unsettled, Deeks," Callen says, smiling.

"I'm not unsettled."

Kensi smiles, taking a sip of her coffee. "You look pretty unsettled."

Sam laughs. "He's definitely unsettled."

"I am not unsettled. This is ridiculous. I don't know why we're even talking about this."

"We're talkin' about it because when it happens, we want to know Kensi is safe with you."

"Sam, she's safe. I've got her back. I've proved it before."

Sam smiles, an evil little glint in his eyes. "Prove it now."

Kensi looks up suddenly.

Deeks nearly chokes on his coffee. "What? Prove it how?"

"Kiss her. Like you mean it. Make me believe you're a couple."

"That's ridiculous. I'm not doing that. This is some stupid joke or something."

"It's not. I don't think you can," Callen says.

"Me either. Kensi, you better hope the day never comes."

Deeks looks at his teammates, his heart hammering. They can't be serious. They can't possibly want him to really do this. And what about Kensi? She hasn't said a word. Clearly, she's in on it.

"Whatever, guys. I'm going to go work out."

"You never work out. You're afraid! You're actually afraid to kiss her," Callen says, laughing.

"I'm not afraid. This is some joke you're all in on. It has to be, or Kensi, you'd be putting a stop to it."

She shrugs. "Part of the job, Deeks. Nothing I haven't done before."

She can't be serious. There has to be a punch line here somewhere. "Well, trust me, if the time comes, you can count on me. No need to worry."

Sam shakes his head. "You're dead, Kensi."

She looks aggravated. "Deeks, just do it. It'll prove a point and shut them up."

Oh, my God. Everyone's lost their minds. It's all he can figure. "Like I said, Kensi, this is ridiculous. I'm not buying into it so I can be the punch line of some inside joke between the three of you, or so Kensi, you can kick my ass the minute I touch you. No thanks to all of that action."

Callen stands up and leans against his desk. "It's no joke. If you end up undercover with her, and you can't sell the couple cover, you could end up dead. And so could she. And trust us, if that were to happen, we'd revive your dead body so we could kill you ourselves."

"You gotta be serious about this stuff, Deeks. One slip-up and she's dead. Now we know she can pull it off. You, we're not so sure about. And there lies the problem."

They're serious? Really? They actually want him to kiss Kensi. Right here, right now, in front of them. No way. Not a chance. "Like I said, you have nothing to worry about. I've been undercover a million times. I'm good."

"There are different degrees of cover, though. You might go in as friends, acquaintances, lovers, a couple married ten years."

Kensi looks offended. "Ten?"

Sam smiles. "You coulda got married at seventeen."

"The point is," Callen says, "Is that you have to be able to sell any one of those things. You have to be accurate, capture exactly the right emotion and interaction between each one."

Deeks rakes a hand through his hair. "And I could."

"Then prove it."

"No. I could be the friend or the married guy. No problem. I've got nothing to prove."

"So, you understand the subtle nuances of each? You know the difference between how a married couple would act with each other, versus lovers in an affair?" Callen asks.

"I could figure it out, yeah."

"Not good enough. While you're figuring it out, she could be getting shot at. Sam, Kensi, show him."

Kensi and Sam both get up and look at each other, then shrug. Deeks can't believe what he's seeing.

"Okay, Sam. Like an old friend," Callen instructs, and Sam gathers Kensi into his arms with a kiss on the cheek. She smiles and returns the gestures.

"Now, like a married couple with kids at home."

Sam hugs Kensi and plants a not quite platonic, but definitely not passionate closed mouth kiss on her lips. Again, she reciprocates, this time with a loving smile.

"Like a lover," Callen instructs, and Deeks feels his heart accelerate. Surely, they won't.

Without a second's hesitation, Sam pulls Kensi into his arms and looks down into her eyes. She stares up at him with a smoldering look in hers. Then she reaches up on tippy toes and wraps her arms around his neck, opening her mouth to his. He envelops her lips in a soft kiss, then one more passionate. The one to follow is so intense it's embarrassing to watch. When they part, Sam brushes her cheek and plants one last soft kiss on her lips before drawing her into his arms to hold her.

"Thank you. And that's how it's done." Callen announces, and Kensi and Sam return to their desks, Kensi laughing and punching Sam's arm as she walks away.

Deeks swallows, just staring. He feels like he's seen something he should never have seen. He's embarrassed, shocked, and taken aback. There's no way he's doing that here, with the team watching. He shrugs noncommittally. "I could do that."

"Yeah? Prove it," Callen says.

"She's my partner, and you idiots are watching. It would be strange"

"So what if she's your partner? That's the whole point here," Callen says.

Deeks smiles. "So, you could kiss Sam, then?"  
"If that was our cover and our lives depended on it, yeah."

Sam shudders, but nods. "So, like he said, prove it."

Just as Deeks is about to say no, Hetty calls his name. "Thank God," he whispers under his breath as he makes his retreat to her office.

"They have a point, you know," she says, sitting down.

"What?"

"They have a point. You and Ms. Blye will go undercover as a couple at some point. It's a given. And when that time comes, you'd best be ready. If you aren't, Mr. Deeks, bad things are sure to happen."

"Hetty, I'll be fine. I'm not some stupid kid who's never kissed a woman. I can make a woman tremble with a kiss. I just don't feel the need to prove it to Sam and Callen."

"What about your partner? What if she needs the proof just as badly as they do?"

"She hasn't said she does. She barely said anything out there."

"Maybe she doesn't want to embarrass you."

"Unlike everyone else?"

Hetty smiles. "Don't let her down, Mr. Deeks. She'd never do it to you."

"Well, clearly, she's done the undercover as lovers thing before, so I'm not worried."

"Exactly. You've seen proof."

Deeks gets up to leave. "She's safe with me, Hetty. She has nothing to worry about."

When he comes back into the bullpen, Sam and Callen are gone. Kensi sits at her desk, doing something on her computer. "Updating your online dating profile," he says with a smile.

She looks a bit…what? Offended? Annoyed? "Funny."

"So, uh…that was pretty impressive, Kens."

She shrugs. "Like I said, part of the job." She gets up and walks away, leaving him standing alone, wondering what her problem is.

He watches her go, feeling unsettled. He cannot believe what he witnessed fifteen minutes ago. He's never seen her kiss anyone up until today, and he has to admit, if only to himself, that he wonders what it would feel like to be kissed by her. She is gorgeous, has an amazing body, and her smile knocks him out.

He definitely wouldn't mind kissing her. Just not with Sam and Callen watching. How she and Sam pulled off that kind of passion with their friends watching is beyond him. It was more than believable. Clearly, they're both professionals. Clearly, they've done this before. Still, Deeks can't imagine performing in front of the team like that, whether it would make them feel better about him or not.

There are other reasons he won't kiss her, but he won't share those, either. Intensely private reasons. He's not entirely sure how he feels about her. She's his partner. He sees her every day. He's saved her ass half a dozen times. He has to work at her side every day. He's finally gained her trust, finally become comfortable with her. He doesn't want to screw that up. And then there's the emotional factor, one he won't even think about. No, he will not be kissing his beautiful, sexy partner anytime soon.

She manages to avoid him most of the day. He can't figure out why, but she's acting weird. And not just Kensi weird. She seems angry or upset. He can't really tell which, because she's never close enough to really look at or talk to. And it's driving him nuts. He hates it when she shuts him out. He should be used to it, but he's not, damn it, and he's pretty sure he never will be. He cares about her. He doesn't want to do anything to damage their fragile partnership.

He goes against everything he's learned, and approaches her. She avoids his gaze, organizing the already organized papers on her desk. Clearly, she can't find anything else to do, and has to do something.

"Hey. You okay?" Shit, that was not the question he wanted to ask.

She doesn't look up. Her voice is tight. "Fine."

"What's up, Kens? Are you pissed at me?"

"Why would I be?"

"I have no idea, but you've avoided me since this morning, after that whole undercover conversation."

"I've had stuff to do, Deeks. Don't read into it."

"You do know you can trust me, right? If we went undercover like that, you'd be safe."

She finally looks up. "Okay."

"You didn't really want me to kiss you in front of Callen and Sam, right? I mean, that would just be weird."

She looks at him blankly. "It's a job, Deeks. One you might have to do. You do realize that if we did go undercover that way, Sam and Callen would be watching us the entire time. Along with Hetty, Eric, and probably Nell."

"They wouldn't be right there staring at us, Kensi."

"They might be. Sam and Callen might very well be in the same room for back up. So, what you're telling me is that if that were the case, you couldn't do it. I'd be screwed."

He opens his mouth and closes it. Shit. "No, no, that's not what I'm saying. It's just…"

She holds up both hands to stop him. "Never mind. I get it," she says angrily, and stalks away.

Damn it. He's screwing this up to no end. They haven't been partners all that long, and what they have is tenuous. He can't wreck it over this. He can't tell her the real reason he won't kiss her. That would ruin things for sure. Yet no other excuse is good enough. He can't blame her; he's messing with her safety here. She has to know she can trust him no matter what the situation. And she can't, not now. Shit. Why does he have to feel this way about her? The attraction is ridiculous. He looks at her sometimes and can't quite breathe. And now he's supposed to kiss her with the whole team watching, like it means nothing? Yeah, there's no way he's pulling that one off.

A few more hours pass, and he hasn't seen her for more than a second as she walks through the bullpen on her way to somewhere else. Finally, he catches her at her desk after Sam and Callen are gone. She still refuses to look at him, won't make conversation. It's killing him. He approaches her desk, almost wishing she'd slug him. At least one of them would feel better. "Hey."

She glances up, but says nothing.

"Look, Kens, I'm sorry, okay?"

She faces him, some unreadable emotion in her eyes, anger in her voice. "Why won't you kiss me?"

Wow. This is not what he expected. "What?"

"Why won't you kiss me?"

"Seriously? This bothers you that much?" He's stunned.

"Yes, actually. Either you're totally unprofessional, and clearly not cut out to have a female partner, or you find me…repulsive. And if you do, that's fine, but…"

He stops her, holding up a hand. "Kensi, God, no. You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever known. I do not find you repulsive."

"Then what, Deeks? You're not a shy person. I can't believe it would bother you that much to just prove a point to the others."

He releases a breath and moves in front of her to stand close. He stares down into those beautiful contrasting eyes, and reaches to slide his fingers into her hair.

Her eyes grow wider. "What are you doing?"

He bends slightly, speaking softly against her lips. "Putting your mind at ease."

He brings his lips to hers, gently, at first. He feels her catch her breath, and he runs his hand into her hair, slipping his other arm around her waist to draw her into him. He intensifies the kiss, his tongue finding hers. It takes all he has not to moan, to whisper her name against her lips. Instead, he pours his passion into the kiss, leaving her do doubt that she would be safe with him, should a cover require the same.

To his surprise, she does moan, just slightly. It sends tremors through him, clear to his toes. He breathes heavily, his fingers twining into her hair, holding her close. He forces himself to remember where he is. He pulls back, opening his eyes to look into hers. God, she's beautiful.

She stares up at him, clearly shaken. "Oh, my God. That felt…"

"Real? Convincing? he asks, bringing himself under control. "Good."

She takes a breath. "I was going to say amazing. Why didn't you want to do that?"

He swallows and chews his lip, his voice soft. "Because I knew what it would feel like. And I knew what it would feel like to stop." He releases her and steps back as he sees the realization sweep over her.

"Deeks…"

"Go home. I'll see you Monday," he says, moving back to his desk.

He's made it clear that he's done talking about it, and she gets the point without argument, which is odd for her. "Okay. See you Monday."

He watches her gather her things and walk out, and places both hands on his desk for support. He closes his eyes and wills his heart to slow. Footsteps sound behind him, and he holds his breath.

"You made her tremble," comes Hetty's soft voice.

He straightens and looks at her. "Yeah, well, she returned the gesture, believe me."

The older woman smiles compassionately, as if she understands, and squeezes his arm before returning to her office. "Go have a drink, Mr. Deeks. You need it."

"You have no idea," he says under his breath. "No idea at all."


	2. Two

She sits in her car, stunned. What the hell just happened? Did she imagine it? Was she really just kissed passionately, then dismissed by her partner? Has she ever allowed herself to be dismissed by anyone in her entire life?

She had been so pissed earlier. So…hurt? The fact that he wouldn't just kiss her bothered her far more than it should have, and she has no idea why. Yeah, it was stupid, it was sophomoric. He shouldn't have made such a big deal of it, and just done it to shut them up. That he wouldn't, that it felt like he was somehow rejecting her, had a certain sting to it. One she couldn't have explained, and one that made her angry.

Now, realizing how pathetic she must have looked to him all angry and offended, embarrassment floods her. She thanks God she's alone, where he can't see the color rise in her face. She allows herself to go back over the brief conversation, skipping the words entirely, and going straight to that kiss. And holy crap, what a kiss. She's wondered. Looking at those incredible blue eyes, seeing that goofy, taunting smile, the innuendo tossed back and forth between them. Of course she's wondered. And now she knows. He's an incredible kisser.

This information won't help her. Not one bit. Because she's certain that the next time she sees him, Monday morning, she's going to think of nothing else. She tries to tell herself he was acting, that nothing about it was real. He had simply given in and proved a point, to as he'd said, put her mind at ease. Her mind is anything but. Would he have used his tongue had he been acting? Well, Sam had, and she knows that was acting, so maybe yes. But with Deeks, it felt real. So real.

Worse than all that, is what he said afterwards. It haunts her now, driving home. He knew what it would feel like to stop. What does that mean? That he knew he wouldn't want to? What else could it mean? She's so worked up, so lost. She wishes, as good as that kiss was, that it had never happened, that no one had ever brought up the subject. Because now things are complicated on a whole new level, and she can't get it off her mind.

She goes home and takes a shower, trying to think about something else. Anything else but that one sentence. And I knew what it would feel like to stop. After an hour, she gives up. She can't take it, she has to know. She climbs back into the SRX and drives to his apartment. Knocking, she half expects him not to answer, to instead be sitting in a bar somewhere.

When he opens the door, he's the one who looks surprised. "Kensi, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

She wastes no time with preamble. "What did you mean earlier?"

"What?"

"What did you mean, you knew what it would feel like to stop?"

He looks embarrassed, like he has no idea what to say. Clearly, this is the last thing he expected to deal with tonight. "Kens…"

She pushes her way inside and stares at him. "I have to know, Deeks. It's driving me crazy, okay? What did you mean by it?"

He looks at her with those soft blue eyes. "I meant exactly what I said."

Her heart picks up immediately, and she wonders if this was a good idea. She can barely make her voice work. "It felt real because it was."

"Yeah. It was. Very."

"That's why you fought it. You…"

"Yeah."

She smiles a little. "Me, too."

"Really, 'cause I thought I kind of repulse you," he says, that damned smile just ruining her.

She shakes her head, smiling back. "Not so much, no."

"Now what?"

She shrugs. "You could kiss me again."

He moves closer. "What if I don't want to stop?"

"Then don't."

He swallows and moves closer still, staring down at her.

He's gorgeous. She finally allows herself to think it, and she smiles a little.

"What," he asks nervously.

She shakes her head. "Nothing."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I am."

He reaches to run his fingertips along her cheek, and she closes her eyes at his touch. She can feel his breath on her lips, and it quickens her pulse. She opens her mouth, and he's there, his kiss igniting her. The first subtle brush of his tongue against hers elicits a moan, and she feels his breath grow heavy at the sound. He pulls her into his arms and presses his body against hers. She swims in his scent and his warmth and his kiss, completely losing herself in it.

She twines her fingers into his hair, something she's wanted to do for as long as she's known him. The tousled blonde curls feel like silk beneath her fingertips.

He draws back slightly, smiling just a little. "Admit it. You've always wanted to do that."

"I have."

He brings his lips back to hers and whispers against them. "I've always wanted to do this." He kisses her with such passion, it takes her breath. His tongue plays with hers, his hands tangle in her hair.

When he presses himself tightly against her, she feels him. She sucks in a breath, clutching at him. She wants him. It's too much. It's too soon. She pulls back, breathless, and looks up into his blue eyes, stormy with passion. "We have to stop."

"I told you, I don't want to stop," he says, kissing her neck.

He's doing things to her she couldn't have imagined. Things she hasn't felt before, even with Jack. "We have to. Now."

"Or what," he says, not the least bit dissuaded, as he continues to kiss and bite her neck.

She moans. "Or I won't be able to."

"Good."

"Not good. We need to slow down, right?" Even she realizes how desperate and breathless she sounds.

"Why would we want to do that?"

"I…I don't know," she replies, her heart outrunning her. Logical thought begins to elude her as he kisses her throat, his right hand slipping beneath the hem of her top, to caress the bare skin of her lower back.

The fingers of one hand creep up toward the clasp of her bra, while the others knot in her hair while he kisses her deeply. When he pulls back slightly to bite her lower lip, she smiles a bit. "You're really good at this."

"You thought I wouldn't be? Thanks, Fern," he says, nibbling the sensitive spot below her ear.

"Doesn't matter. You are."

"He smiles against her neck. "You ain't seen nothin' yet."


	3. Three

When the knock on the front door sounded, she was the last person he expected to see. A neighbor needing to borrow something, or the pizza guy at the wrong apartment again, yes. Kensi, no. And especially not that version of Kensi. He figured he'd be in trouble one way or the other. He knew she probably wouldn't let it go. Either she'd kick his ass or find a way to torture him over it, but she wouldn't let that whole kiss thing die a peaceful death. And she hasn't.

He's thought of her more nights than he can count as he's fallen asleep alone. He's imagined what it would feel like to kiss her, what her body might feel like pressed against his. What it would be like to have those eyes look up into his as he undresses her. He's lived a thousand fantasies about her, lying in his bed. He's never once imagined they could really happen. And yet, here she is.

Her kisses are even more intense than he's imagined. Her hands in his hair, her lips on his neck, her tight, perfect body leaning into his is even more intoxicating than the fantasy. Her scent, so feminine and familiar, makes it hard to breathe. He lets himself feel her, taste her, breathe her in. He pushes back the fact that she is his partner, and they probably shouldn't be doing this. He has no idea how far things will go, but he's not going to be the one to stop them. Self-control is at a premium right now, and he just can't afford it.

She's somehow allowing him to be the one in control. She's slightly unlike herself, yielding and receptive, and it's incredibly sexy to see her let go and let it happen. He kisses her deeply, exploring her mouth with his tongue, seductively biting her lower lip between kisses. He tugs on her earlobe with his teeth, and bites her neck and shoulder as he kisses them, eliciting the sexiest sounds he's ever heard from anyone.

He runs his hand under her shirt and finds the clasp of her bra. This is it…the moment she'll either pull back or succumb. He lets his fingers play over the clasp, holding his breath as he kisses her, awaiting her response.

She pulls back, but not how he fears. "You're really good at this."

"You thought I wouldn't be? Thanks, Fern," he says, gently biting the sensitive spot below her ear.

"Doesn't matter. You are," she says, her eyes closed, her head falling back.

"He smiles against her neck. "You ain't seen nothin' yet."

Her only response is the rush of her breath as he unhooks her bra. He runs his hand over the soft skin between her shoulder blades, skin he never thought he'd touch. He realizes they're still standing inside his front door, and pulls her along to the couch, never breaking contact with her. He sits and pulls her down beside him, kissing her for long minutes, without doing anything more intimate than stroking the skin of her back. He wants to take his time, live this fantasy to its fullest. If this only happens once, he wants it to be everything he's ever hoped for, with nothing to regret.

She pulls back a bit and smiles. "I can't believe you wouldn't kiss me."

"Believe it or not, I don't kiss a lot of women, Kens," he says stroking her hair back. "It's an intimate thing. The most intimate thing you can do with another person."

"Um, I think there might be something more intimate," she whispers against his lips.

He shakes his head, pulling back from another kiss. "No. Think about it…when we kiss, you're staring into my eyes from an inch away, seeing into my soul. We're tasting each other's tongues, breathing each other's breaths. What could be more intimate than that?" he says, proving his point with a long, intimate kiss, so passionate he feels her tremble against him.

She whispers into his mouth. "You win."

"Do I?"

She nods, her eyes closed. "Uh huh."

He pulls her onto his lap, her knees on either side of his hips. He feels her heat sink into him, and it makes him raise his hips against her. Her hands are in his hair as she kisses him, and all he can think about is taking her to his bedroom. He forces himself to take it slow and enjoy the exquisite agony. He feels her press herself against him, rocking her hips. He groans and lets his head fall back, and she kisses the place where neck meets shoulder.

Her mouth opens against his skin, and he feels her teeth as she bites him. The pressure is incredibly erotic, and as she bites harder he can't quite decide if it's sexy or sadistic. Either way, he can't breathe. Her hands move over his chest, pulling his tee shirt up to expose his skin. He pulls the shirt off, then grasps hers blouse and opens it in one fluid motion.

She smiles, looking surprised. "These look like buttons. How did you know they unsnap?"

He smiles back at her, running a finger along her collarbone. "Kensi, I spend a lot of time looking at your chest when you think I'm not. I know how your clothes work," he says, sliding the shirt off her shoulders.

She smiles seductively back at him, reaching down to undo the button on his cargo shorts. "I know how yours work, too."

He closes his eyes and sucks in a breath as her fingers brush against him through the fabric while she works the button. "Kens…"

"I want you."

He opens his eyes and stares at her.

"What?"

"You're beautiful," he whispers.

"So are you," she says, fingertips tracing his cheek.

He kisses her again, catching the hem of her tank top and raising it to her breasts. "You wear too many clothes, Fern."

"So take 'em off, Shaggy."

He groans at that, and pulls the shirt over her head. He doesn't stare, doesn't touch her, just pulls her against him, relishing the feel of their bare skin pressed together as he kisses her. She moves against him, pressing herself intimately close, and he grasps her hips, pulling her against him. "These jeans have to go."

She moves off of him to stand. "I agree."

He's eye level with her zipper, and slowly undoes it, sliding the jeans down the length of her legs, her panties still intact. "Again, too many clothes," he says, slipping them down as well. She kicks them off and stands there, held in place by his hands on her hips. He looks up at her, and kisses just below her belly button. He feels a tremor run through her, hears the intake of breath at that simple kiss. And it's all he needs to know.

He kisses an inch lower, and hears another sharp breath. A few inches lower, and she's gasping, hands in his hair, moaning his name. He's never even dared to fantasize about this, knew he'd never be able to face her if he did. But now it's real, and it outdoes any fantasy he could have ever had.

She's pulling his hair, yanking him up, desperate and breathless. "Deeks…please…"

He stands up, pulling her into his arms, and she kisses him fiercely. She reaches down and tugs at his zipper, sliding his shorts and boxers over his hips. They pool around his ankles, and he kicks them off. He feels her hands on him, running over his back, his shoulders, his belly. Then one hand surrounds him, tentatively moving down the length of him and back up. He sucks in a shuddering breath, his head falling back at the feel of it. "Kensi…"

He returns to his senses a little and takes her hand. He leads her to his bed and pushes her down, moving over her, pushing her knees apart with his own. He settles his body against hers, and feels her arch into him. He wants her desperately, but forces himself to wait. He kisses her lips, her neck, her shoulders. He moves to her breasts, and feels her hands in his hair, feels her chest heave with labored breaths.

She's pulling at him, desperate with passion. "Please…"

He can't take it anymore. He wants her. He pauses, looking down into her eyes, taking her in. She's all he's ever dreamed of, all he's ever wanted. And in this incredibly intimate moment, he lets himself realize what he's suspected for so long. He's in love with Kensi Blye, his partner, the one woman he never imagined he could have. He resists the urge to say it, and then something incredible happens.

She looks up into his eyes, hers heavy-lidded with passion. "I love you."

He kisses her, relief and completion and joy coursing through him. "I love you back."

She twines her hands in his hair and pulls him into a breathtaking kiss, arching herself into him. He rocks his hips against her, and she pulls at him. "Please, Deeks…"

He brings them together, and she cries out, clutching at him, her nails biting into his back. He moves slowly, savoring the feel of her. She finds his rhythm, and within minutes, she's trembling, panting, contracting around him.

"Deeks…Oh, God…"

When she stills, coming out of it, he stops and stares down at her, smiling in amazement. "Seriously? Did you just…"

Still panting, eyes closed, she nods.

"Wow, Fern. And I thought us guys got a bad rap for that."

She opens her eyes slightly and smiles. "Difference is, Shaggy, I'll do it again. And again."

This is the hottest conversation he's probably ever had, and considering what he's doing while he's having it, he has to force himself under control, which is hard, because she's rolling her hips against him, running her hands over his chest, leaning up to kiss him. He forces down the urge to explode, forces her to go slow. It only lasts so long before she's increasing their tempo, panting, sinking her nails into his back and shoulders again. And this time, he can't stop himself. Her name is a desperate cry as he finds his release along with her, burying his face in her neck, trembling.

Minutes later, once their limbs stop shaking and their breathing slows, he pulls back to look at her. "I've waited so long for this."

"Me, too."

He rolls onto his back, pulling her with him to lie with her head on his chest. He pulls a blanket over them and holds her close. He loves her. He's told her as much. And she loves him. It doesn't change who they are, though.

It's as if she can tell what he's thinking. "I don't regret this. But I want to keep it between us."

He strokes her hair and kisses the top of her head. "I agree. It's no one's business anyway."

"No, it's not."

"Do you think they'd have a problem with it at work?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't care if they did, honestly. We have a horrible job. We see things no one should see. People try to kill us. We kill them. There has to be some point to it all, some good in this life, don't you think?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. And this is it, Kens. This is the point. You and me, and finding that one person on earth that gets you, and knows you, and knows all your issues, and loves you anyway."

"I get you," she says, looking up at him with a loving smile.

"I get you, too. And I know you and all your issues," he says, kissing her softly. "And I love you anyway. I always will."

She reaches to touch his cheek. "I'm going to hold you to that, Shaggy."

He smiles, leaning down to kiss her. "I'm counting on it, Fern."


End file.
